
Healthy Boundaries for the Embodied Woman
Ever felt so annoyed that you are doing EVERYTHING? Frustrated, resentful?
Ever felt so sad deep within for obliging in intimacy when you didn’t want to?
Ever felt like you've let yourself down for not speaking up when you wanted to?
Just a very few examples of ways we have compromised our healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries are essential to living in alignment with our divine truth, healthy boundaries are essential to us feeling radiant and empowered. Boundaries are necessary for thriving healthy relationships at work and home.
So often I work with women who feel resentful, like there isn't enough time in the day.
A good sign a woman is not practicing healthy boundaries is when she isn't thriving. And yes, I get it. I have been there, so close to burnt out, I had no patience, felt super irritable, annoyed, frustrated, life was too busy. I always felt rushed, like I was running on adrenaline… yet ironically feeling guilty for resting, selfish for taking time for self care. No time for hobbies or anything that lit me up.. Sounds like fun, right?
When I finally made the choice to start honoring my own truth and practicing healthy boundaries EVERYTHING changed. I started to feel energized and lit up, I felt radiant, I felt inspired, I found fulfillment, my passion and purpose… that was all internal! Externally my relationships upleveled. Friends and habits that no longer served me dropped away, we moved town, I became more present with my family, more loving, compassionate and patient.. AND I created a life and career I absolutely LOVE. I felt empowered in my sovereignty.
So, why is it as women we often struggle to set healthy boundaries? There could be a huge feminist answer to this.. But, I’ll keep it short for now. Why do we find it hard to speak our truth, live our truth, practice self care, prioritize our wellbeing and pleasure, and even just say “No”.
For centuries and generations we have been oppressed, silenced, shamed, abused, controlled to mention a few. And even in our own lifetimes, our own boundaries will have been violated at some point. So, it’s no surprise that as women, we become conditioned to put others' needs before our own and to neglect our own needs and desires. To put ourselves at the bottom of the to-do list.
So what do we do about it? It’s time for change, there is a shift in the air. We are lucky enough to be living in a time of the rise of the feminine.
Let’s do this.
Let’s talk more about healthy boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are created when a woman steps into her feminine power. When she is living in alignment with her divine truth. She naturally radiates. She is embodied and empowered. She can be peaceful and zen, yet tell you to F&*K off if she needs to. Can you think of a woman like this?
Healthy boundaries are cultivated from within, they are essential to who we are, what we stand for, our values, our emotional, physical, spiritual needs and beliefs. Healthy boundaries come from love and compassion.
A little bit about unhealthy or lack-of boundaries.
Unhealthy boundaries and created externally. Examples are-
Becominging closed off or disconnected as a result of an undesirable situation in a past relationship.
Learning unhealthy boundaries from a role model growing up.
Becoming a yes person or a people pleaser, sacrificing our own needs in the meantime
Unable to speak up or speak your truth in certain situations.
Obliging to keep the peace
Not following your dreams, passions for fear of being selfish.
Feeling afraid to ask for payment for a service you gave
Where in your life can you identify a current dynamic of an undesirable boundary?
Reflect on all areas of your life -
Wellbeing/health
Home balance
Relationships
Money/finances
Work/career
Hobbies/passions
Get curious about where those undesirable boundaries may have been learned.
How to start honoring your own truth and boundaries.
One of the most exciting things that happened to me when I started to follow my truth and honor my boundaries was that I found my purpose and passion in empowering other women to do the same!
I really do feel like it's my life's work to support, guide and inspire my fellow sisters to reclaim their wild feminine. YUM! I want us all to feel joyful, sensual, creative and overflowing with love and juicy radiance. I believe this is what our planet needs right now.
Here’s a couple of tips to get you started..
Reflect on the questions above. Look for some areas that really jump out at you for your love and attention. Sit with the current dynamic and offer yourself compassion, those boundaries were there to serve a purpose, maybe now it's time for change.
Once you have illuminated and ‘loved-on’ some key areas that could do with some change, begin to imagine new possibilities. What are some baby steps you can take to start to make small and sustainable changes. What feelings arise when you feel into these new possibilities? Fear? Guilt? Excitement? Honor, welcome and love those feelings, too. (One example I have from my own journey was that I enrolled in a personal development course, it was a huge investment financially which I felt so much guilt about, I even remember feeling so guilty sitting quietly by myself to do the work on the course! - how times have changed!)
What challenges may you face in honoring these new boundaries? Who might you offend? Sit with these thoughts. Notice again what feelings arise.
Take note -
It's time to reclaim, to rewild and untame yourself. It’s time to rebel against all the conditioning you have been carrying for too long. It is time to descend into your deep feminine, to illuminate the shadows with courage and fearlessness to set yourself free of bullshit and baggage.
It’s time to make time for your creativity, your pleasure, to find yourself, your truth, your light! Find your voice, welcome your anger, your rage, use the power of your inner fire to transform, transcend and rise from the ashes!
It’s time to dance, to make love, make art, live life! For we are the creatives, we are the medicine, we are the healers, we are joy, we are pleasure, we are sensuality, we are chaos, we are tender, we are the seasons, we are fluid, we are mystical and magical!
Feel into your power, feel into your truth, feel into your depths. Notice your posture, your body, your energy.. Let it land. Let it land in every cell of your body. Breath it in, let your deepest desires ripple through your body. You don't have to be anything for anyone. Simply be you for you. And witness the revolution unfold before your eyes.
If upholding healthy boundaries is something you need to work on, if you are ready to start honouring your truth, re-wilding and untaming yourself check our my latest offering Evoke - The Deep Feminine
I’d love to hear you thoughts in the comments below. If this post resonates and you feel would with your fellow sisters. I would be so grateful if you could share!
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